Tonight, not Again

Hello?

Apr 29

I want to live in a world where little girls are not pinkified, but where little girls who like pink are not punished for it, either. We can certainly talk about the social pressures surrounding gender roles, and the concerns that people have when they see girls and young women who appear to be forced into performances of femininity by the society around them, but let’s stop acting like they have no agency and free will. Let’s stop acting like women who choose to be feminine are somehow colluders, betraying the movement, bamboozled into thinking that they want to be feminine. Let’s stop denying women their own autonomy by telling them that their expressions of femininity are bad and wrong.

Antifemininity is misogynist. What you are saying when you engage in this type of rhetoric is that you think things traditionally associated with women are wrong. Which is misogynist. By telling feminine women that they don’t belong in the feminist movement, you are reinforcing the idea that to be feminine and a woman is wrong, that women who want to be taken seriously need to be more masculine, because most people view gender presentation in binary ways. This rewards the ‘one of the boys’ type rhetoric I encounter all over the place from self-avowed feminists who seem to think that bashing on women is a good way to prove how serious they are when it comes to caring about women and bringing men into the feminist movement.

S. E. Smith, “Get Your Anti-Femininity out of my Feminism” (via squintyoureyes)

Apr 25

things I have recently learned to love

x.water: it’s tasty and gives me an unexpected amount of energy
x.Paul Simon: he reminds me how much love is in the world
x.outside: it’s green, it’s clean, it’s beautiful
x.waking up early: my days seem so much longer!
x.quiet: there isn’t enough of it
x.last.fm: I can finally use the scrobbler without feeling like it’s performative
x.a blank mind: the more thinking I do, the unhappier I get. 
x.pushing myself: listening to my body, getting it out of its comfort zone…I feel like I know myself better


Apr 17

So Beautiful or So What

I just keep wandering farther and farther into the philosophical labyrinth. Every time I think I’m close to some sort of clarity I just fall through another false floor. The more I know, the less I know. It’s a little scary when I’m surrounded by loud, vocal opinions.

I do know that I am against useless negativity. And hatred. Lately, I haven’t had the time or energy to hate the petty with much intensity. I try to love it or leave it alone. Some anger is useful…the kind that objects to persecution, discrimination, or neglect for example. On the other hand, this jealousy, discrimination, othering, etc. that pervades every medium (e.g. facebook, reality TV, pop music) only subtracts. I don’t like subtracting. Sometimes I get sucked in to the negativity, but I’m learning to let it go.

Are people just too busy hating to listen? Am I too complacent in my dismissal of the petty? I don’t know the right answer. There are more questions. Am I restless? Do I lack ambition? Am I lazy? Are my opinions too fluid? I feel like a loser some days. Most of the time I’m genuine in my apathy towards traditional success and image, but sometimes I’m victim to jealousy and self-deprecation. I just need to stop looking in from the outside and start looking out from the inside basically, because I’m only down when I define myself by other peoples’ definitions of worth.

Thanks to Paul Simon for supporting love rather than hate.


Feb 7

sup

I got enough sleep last night. I cleaned the house. I mopped the floors. I did the dishes. I feel good. 

I’ve got a bonus check on the way, as well as a tax refund check. These checks are going (along with the other money I’ve saved) into a savings account so that I can use them as a down payment for a new car sometime in the not-so-distant future.

I finished On Beauty by Zadie Smith and I read one of the books of Neruda in the giant tome Jayce gave me for Christmas. I love both.

My chickens, cow, dog, and sheep on Harvest Moon all love me. I don’t even care that none of the girls do.

I have one secret. And I’m only keeping it that way to prevent spoiling it, or getting peoples’ hopes up, or getting my own hopes up.

That’s what’s going on with me.


Jan 27

Yesterday, the artists ran A to Z—

Today, they run Z to A.

That’s enough change for now.


Dec 14

just so you know

I am not:

x.rich
x.important
x.wild
x.shocking
x.subversive
x.ambitious
x.memorable
x.charming 

I am:

x.happy
x.relaxed
x.peaceful
x.critical
x.caring
x.grateful
x.mellow
x.listening


Nov 22

stendhal: the original blogger.

I wouldn’t say I have manic episodes. It’s just that sometimes, for a few days, I’m so hungry for air that I’m afraid I won’t be able to restrain my breathing. I will inhale then inhale until my lungs then chest then body expand until they explode.

It’s totally different.


Nov 3
“I made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it short.” Blaise Pascal

Nov 1

things that suck and things that do not suck

Suck:

1. “buy local” movements
Stop trying to reverse globalization. Also, I like helping other countries build their respective economies. Stop being selfish!

2. “Vintage,” “vinyl,” “organic”
Words that are used and abused and now make me cringe. The beauty of the English language is that it has a freakishly large number of words. Please find different ones.

3. Coexist bumper stickers
We already coexist. There aren’t many other options.

4. Tree huggers
This is referring to people who actually hug trees. There are people like that, I’ve seen them.

Not Suck:

1. Andrew Bird
Just listen to him whistle 

2.  Jayce
He drives me places and always lets me look at the candle section. We do not like the same kind of music or the same politicians so we argue sometimes but mostly we watch Hoarders and talk about stuff and drink milkshakes and do other things that are fun.

3.  Reading
Escapism and education all rolled into one

4. Bike rides
I am getting better at riding street bikes. I almost fall over way less often. I’m also getting stronger.


Aug 5
hpatton:

 got this in the mail today, now I gotta buy a frame…damn
H

that’s the guy who did my tattoo!

hpatton:

 got this in the mail today, now I gotta buy a frame…damn

H

that’s the guy who did my tattoo!


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